i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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