So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize