just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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