I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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