i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
