Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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