I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
