The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
