So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
