i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
