even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
