I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
