hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
