Me too!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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