Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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