It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize