I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
