the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
