she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize