It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
