Tell her she can't have a vagina
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
