I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
