we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
