You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You smell like stripper and shame
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
