Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
