he thought i was a dude.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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