Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do vagina's smell?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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