I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
