She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Two words: nipple clamps
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