i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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