to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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