weddingsv make me drug and hornr
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
