You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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