I need to stop coming to work sober
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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