Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
