His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
