Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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