whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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