HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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