I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
