I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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