if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
