yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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