I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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