found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
