I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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