I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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