the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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