The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize