And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I still have a little drunk in my system
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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