After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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