Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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