how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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