You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
