FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
