overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
