i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
