I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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