Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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