yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ttyl tear gas
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
