this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
