we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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