what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
