I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
