Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
