He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I want a musical about memes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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